


Juggling Act

by swanqueenfic13



Series: Little Luthor [13]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: A little angst, Bickering, Canon-Typical Violence, Didn't tag Sanvers because they're barely there, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff, Happy Ending, Only rated Teen for mild mentions of orgasm, Only towards the end and not a main pairing, background sanvers, literally not graphic at all, not graphic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-03
Updated: 2017-08-03
Packaged: 2018-12-10 11:04:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11690319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swanqueenfic13/pseuds/swanqueenfic13
Summary: Kara is struggling to juggle all of her duties: Supergirl, mother to Lydia, girlfriend to Lena. Lucky for her, she doesn't have to figure out how to do it alone.





	Juggling Act

**Author's Note:**

> *UPDATE* I have decided after some reflection to make Maggie Sawyer's character in my fics reflect her character in the DC universe rather than reflect the actress who portrays her on Supergirl. I originally made this Maggie Italian because Floriana Lima is Italian, but it had been brought to my attention that Maggie is Hispanic so I will be changing all of my fics to reflect this. In the future, if you catch a reference to Maggie being Italian in any of these fics, let me know so I can change it. Have a nice day!

The first thing Lena learned about dating a superhero was that there were no such things as set schedules or routines anymore.

Sometimes, a fire broke out in a factory on the commute home and Kara had to go help put it out, thus making her late for dinner. Other times, there was a kidnapper targeting children and Kara was out all night and well into the morning, so she missed the morning routine. And still other times, there might be a hostage situation and Kara could be missing from the house for hours upon hours, making for a cranky Lydia and a worried Lena. 

Lena had to learn quickly how to make her plans more flexible, whenever possible. She hired an extra driver whose sole job was to help take Lydia wherever she needed to go. She’d gotten Lydia into a day camp at a private company ranked highly among the wealthier circles (according to Jess, who had insisted on doing the research herself to ensure Lydia would be safe and happy). Lena also brought Lydia to the office frequently when Kara was busy.

Lena hired two new babysitters to help with unexpected changes of plans in terms of Lydia’s care, though she was hesitant to hire a full-time nanny. Lena remembered growing up with a rotating staff of nannies; as soon as she got attached to one, her mother would fire her. She never felt close to her mother since she spent all her time with nannies, and she never felt safe getting close to her nannies anymore. Lena spent so much of her time feeling isolated and unwanted, shuffled around by nannies. She just didn’t want that for Lydia. But with the increasing hecticness of Kara’s schedule, it was becoming more and more inevitable that Lena got some sort of permanent help.

 

The second thing Lena learned about dating a superhero is that she needed to stop watching video news stories. 

She quickly figured out that it was far too stressful for her to watch Kara put herself in danger. She knew that Kara was strong and highly unlikely that anything could injure her, but knowing that and  _ seeing it _ , seeing it tested and challenged? That drove up Lena’s blood pressure far too much, so she stuck to reading articles after the fact and after she knew Kara was safe. It was much safer for her this way.

 

“Babe, we have that meeting with the realtor today. She’s showing us the first batch of homes based on our lists,” Lena said when Kara stumbled in early that morning, having spent the last hour controlling an alien brawl on the streets. Kara quickly changed out of her super suit and back into her pajamas (literally going so fast that Lena couldn’t see more than just a blur of color for a moment) and fell into bed with Lena.

“Mhmm, I know,” Kara mumbled sleepily, nuzzling into Lena’s belly, who was wide awake and trying to work on her laptop. “You should lay with me.”

“I can’t sleep. Might as well get some work done. I have too much to do,” Lena said tiredly, not looking up from the screen. She was trying to read through some new contracts with other small companies or inventors and edit them as needed, but ended up on Pinterest just looking at decorations for Lydia’s upcoming fourth birthday party. “Do you think you’re going to make it to this meeting?”

“Yeah, I will. Definitely,” Kara said firmly. Without meaning to, Lena inhaled deeply.

“Are you sure? Because you said you’d make it in time to pick Lydia up from camp yesterday but you didn’t,” Lena said crossly, still staring at the screen. She was aware that she was being passive-aggressive right now, but she couldn’t care.

“I told you, there was a major car accident. They needed my help getting people out of the cars so the paramedics could help them,” Kara snapped back, sitting up now. They kept their voices low so as not to disturb Lydia as they bickered.

“And they couldn’t have used the jaws of life? Not every town and city has a superhero like you, and they do  _ just  _ fine.”

“It takes me two seconds what it takes the jaws of life nearly fifteen minutes to do. More lives can be saved. I’m finally doing something, Lena! I thought you understood that!” Kara sounded so hurt, so confused, so frustrated. She had just come home feeling great- exhausted, but so happy and high on the thrill of saving people, only to stumble into Lena’s sour mood. Lena studied her for a moment, seeing all of these emotions and conflicts crossing her face before she wilted, realizing she was in the wrong.

“I do, Kara, I do… I just… It’s hard… Being the hero’s girlfriend, always left behind and waiting. I don’t understand how your cousin’s wife does it,” Lena sighed sadly, rubbing at her eyes tiredly. She gave Kara an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry I snapped. I just haven’t been sleeping well lately. Forgive me?” Kara leaned over, giving her a soft kiss.

“Always,” she breathed against her lips. She pulled away with a smile. “But you’re not completely out of line. We do need to find a better balance. I don’t want to keep missing things.”

“Maybe… you could talk to the DEO? Tell them you can’t be called in for every 911 call, just the stuff they can’t handle on their own? At least during certain hours, y’know? You should be able to take some time,” Lena suggested.

“I will talk to them. But later.  _ After  _ we look at our potential future homes,” she clarified. “Now, can we lay back down and try and rest? You don’t even have to sleep, just lay down with me.” Kara tugged on Lena’s arm, laying back down on the bed together.

“I suppose it can’t hurt,” Lena said, putting her computer on the night stand. She curled up, rolling over so that she and Kara were facing each other. Kara nuzzled closer, pressing their foreheads together.

“We’re gonna figure this out,” Kara whispered, caressing Lena’s cheek, hoping to distract her. But Lena was just thinking about all of the things she needed to do soon and stressing over it all.

“I still have to go on that trip to the other L-Corp plants. I need to check on my people that I’ve promoted and make sure things are up to snuff. But I’ve never left Lydia for that long and I know we’re having trouble with one of us being there because we have such hectic schedules, but I don’t want to get her a nanny but someone needs to be there for her and… It’s just so much. I don’t know how I’m supposed to do everything,” Lena whispered, her eyes watering and her voice breaking on the last word. Kara swiped away the tears with her thumbs, kissing Lena’s nose, her cheeks and her chin.

“We figure it out together, that’s how. And we can find a good nanny who cares. And Lydia could stay with Alex and Maggie during the trips so I can come and visit you when you want me to. You aren’t alone, and you don’t have to do this alone.”

“I love you.” It’s the only thing Lena could think to say in that moment. She hadn’t had someone like this, someone so dedicated to being there for her, since Jack had died.  _ Oh, Jack _ , Lena thought, closing her eyes and remembering the first time she’d told Kara about Jack.

 

_ It had been their third date, a lovely little afternoon shopping at the city’s biggest flea market and then dinner at a waterfront restaurant. Kara had fidgeted all throughout the meal. Finally, over dessert, Lena asked her about it. _

_ “Kara, dear, are you sure something isn’t bothering you?” _

_ “Not bothering, per say… I just… I want to ask but I don’t want to be rude,” Kara said nervously, fiddling with her cloth napkin. Lena thought she heard the sounds of seams popping but decided she must be crazy. _

_ “Ask away. I promise to listen and try not to be offended,” she said with an easy smile. Kara finally caught her eye and grinned. _

_ “Well, see… I work at the preschool, obviously, and I can see all the people who are authorized to pick up kids. I, uh, I made it a point to familiarize myself with each kid’s individual list since I’ve been doing pick-up. And I couldn’t help but notice… There’s no men on Lydia’s list. Which is fine! I was just… I was wondering if her father was… in the picture? I mean, he must not be or else he would be on the list, right? It’s a stupid question, I know, and none of my business, I just-” Lena figured if she didn’t interrupt Kara soon she was never going to stop. _

_ “Kara, it’s not rude. It’s a fair question and you should know the answer since we’ve been on a few dates now and this is getting… more serious.” Kara nodded, encouraging Lena to continue. “Lydia’s father was my best friend in college. I was... I was sixteen and he was eighteen and he was always there for me. I knew he had feelings for me, but he knew that it wasn’t romantic. I think he could tell I was discovering myself… figuring out I was a lesbian, as hard as I tried to fight it. But I wasn’t ready to talk about it- not to him, not to anyone, and especially not to my mother. So I shoved my feelings down and decided it could wait until later.” Lena paused, sighing and looking out over the water. Kara grabbed her hand, rubbing circles on the back of her hand with her thumb. _

_ “Take your time.” Lena nodded appreciatively. _

_ “And then, I was twenty-one and had just finished my second Master’s degree. Jack and I had started our company, just us and a few others in this dingy little building. We thought we were going to cure cancer… Little did I know…” Lena choked up for a moment, sipping at her water slowly before she spoke again. “Jack was my last chance. I knew if I were ever to fall in love- in true, romantic love with a man- it would be Jack. He was kind, sweet, honest, funny, and good. So one evening, when we were both drunk and at a bar, I went home with him and we slept together. But still… I couldn’t make myself love him like that. The next day when we sobered up, I told him.” _

_ “Oh, Lena,” Kara hummed, scooting her chair closer to Lena so that she could put an arm around her, holding her tight. _

_ “I came out to him, told him I was sorry I used him. And do you know what he said? He said he’d always had a feeling, but he loved me so he was going to wait for me to figure it out. He said he’d be anything I needed in the meantime… I was so happy he had accepted me, he hadn’t felt used. And then… I put it off for a while but I wanted to shout it from the rooftops. I would have told Lex, but he was already on trial at this point. So I got drunk one weekend and kissed one of our cooks while I was home. Somehow, Mother found out. She told me I could either stay in the closet, or lose a chunk of my inheritance and get shipped off to some small town Luthorcorp plant to work R&D. I didn’t know what to do. _

_ “And then I missed my period. And another. I went to a clinic and paid in cash where they told me I was pregnant. I knew it had to be Jack’s. So I told him, and he said he was all in. He started moving around his own assets. He came from family money and wanted to make sure that his child got as much of it as possible. I used to tell him it wasn’t necessary, that he could do that when the kid was older. But… he knew he wouldn’t…” Lena stopped for a moment to compose herself and wipe away the stray tear. Kara just kissed her cheek. _

_ “Lee, you can stop. You don’t have to finish, it’s okay.” Kara had figured she knew the rest; Lena publically denounced Lex and was swiftly ousted from the family, going off to live in anonymity until she stumbled into Sunny Start preschool. _

_ “No, I’m almost done… Sorry. Um, where… Right. Jack was transferring the money around to give it to the baby. I had just come from an appointment with my OB/GYN and came home to find my mother furious, insisting I deal with the pregnancy. I could tell she was ordering me to terminate. But I didn’t want that. Sure, I didn’t love Jack romantically, but he was my best friend and he was excited about this baby. So I told her I wanted to keep it. She gave me another ultimatum: get rid of the pregnancy or no longer be a Luthor. I left the house, needed some time by myself to clear my head. But, I was angry when I left, forgetting about all the reporters due to Lex’s trial. When someone asked me a question, I snapped. I called Lex all these awful albeit true things: a coward, a terrorist, a deplorable excuse for a human being.  _

_ “By the time I got back, Lillian had seen the footage. She kicked me out, and I went to stay with Jack. We were preparing for the baby and our little tech company was finally starting to get somewhere. We now had a better building and nearly twenty employees, Jess included. It was only four and a half months into the pregnancy, halfway through it when Jack died.” Lena fell silent. _

_ “Oh, no,” Kara gasped, squeezing Lena’s shoulders. “I’m so sorry.” _

_ “Thank you,” Lena said, wiping at her eyes again. “I just… All this time we were trying to find technology that could cure cancer. And he was hiding this massive sized tumor in the middle of his brain. Inoperable. And I guess he didn’t want any radiation, so he just… One day he just died. Lydia was born a month later. Doctors suggested it might have been the stress of Jack’s death that caused the early labor. But I named her Lydia because Jack said it was a name he liked… We had been joking about all of the ‘L’ names in my family and he insisted we keep up the tradition of alliteration. I had suggested Lori, but he said he liked Lydia better. So now she’s Lydia Jacquelyn Luthor. _

_ “But he did leave most of his money to Lydia and me, and that helped to keep us afloat along with some money I still had from being a Luthor. Some old inheritances and a trust fund that Mother hadn’t been able to touch. We’ve been on our own ever since, just me and Lydia.” _

_ “Thank you for sharing that with me,” Kara said solemnly. She kissed Lena’s temple. “I know that must have been hard. And I am sorry you had to go through that. And Lydia too, even though she doesn’t remember it.” _

_ “Thank you for listening,” Lena had said, smiling gently and leaning her head against Kara’s shoulder, content for the moment. _

 

When Lena came out of her memories, she realized she must have been silent for some time as Kara had fallen back asleep, still facing her, still holding her. Lena just smiled, hugged her closer and closed her eyes, letting the soft sounds of Kara breathing lull her back into sleep.

 

“Mommy, I wanna see the new house,” Lydia whined as they went up the elevator to the realtor’s office. Lydia had insisted on her Supergirl shirt today (it was just blue with a house crest on it, but Lydia insisted it was Super _ girl _ not Super _ man _ ) and Lena had paired it with jeans and a red windbreaker. Ever since Kara had expressed her fondness for seeing her family wearing the traditional house crest, Lena tried to find ways to wear it subtly. One day it was a pair of socks with the crests. Another day it was a child’s snap bracelet under her sleeves. And still a third day, Kara had laughed when Lena showed her her Supergirl underwear. But still, Lena knew that Kara loved it and so she was working on subtle ways to wear the crest. Her next idea was to ask Winn to help embroider it into some of their clothes, but she hadn’t had time lately.

“Baby, remember what we said? The nice realtor took our lists of stuff we wanted in our home and she found us a few that might be good. We have to go look at all of them to try and decide. You wanted to be part of the decision, right?” Lena said, squatting down to get on Lydia’s level while not ruining the knees of her slacks.

“Yeah,” Lydia mumbled sullenly, swinging back and forth. Lena gently captured her chin in two fingers, pushing her face up so that Lydia made eye contact. She smiled softly at her daughter.

“It’s okay if you changed your mind. This might not be a lot of fun, but we do want to give you a chance to be included.”

“No! I wanna help pick the house!” Lydia insisted.

“Okay, that sounds good to me,” Lena said, standing up again. She holds Lydia’s hand as the elevator stops and they walk down the hall to their realtor’s office.

“And if you decide it’s no fun and you don’t wanna help anymore, that’s okay, too. Maybe Auntie or Tia could come get you. Or maybe one of your babysitters!” Kara added brightly. Lydia shrugged; she wanted to be a big girl and help the  _ whole time _ , but she wouldn’t mind getting to see Auntie and Tia’s puppy again.

 

“So, I took your suggestions and I found you five different homes that we can start with. When you go, it’s important that you communicate with me. Tell me what you like about a place and what you don’t like. The more specific you are, the easier it’ll be for me to find you the perfect home. We have appointments to tour through each of these today. Which would you like to do first?” the tall, plump woman said. Her curly hair was pulled back into a neat ponytail and her dark eyes smiled warmly. She had introduced herself as Emily Webb and only smiled briefly at Lydia before launching into her spiel, pushing a folder of papers across the desk towards them.

“Doesn’t matter to me,” Kara shrugged, looking through the information at the addresses of the houses.

“We could start with the closest one and work our way out if that works,” Lena suggested. 

“Perfect. The first is a penthouse apartment at a high end apartment complex right in the heart of the city. They work with high profile residents all the time and your safety and privacy are their first priority. Let’s start there, shall we?”

 

“It just feels… impersonal,” Lena sighed, standing in the middle of the living room. It had an open floor plan and the walls were a light gray, as was the leather furniture. There was a whole section of wall which was just windows, leading out to a large balcony. The leather couches faced a fake stone fireplace with a plasma TV mounted to the wall. Next to the living room area, there was a dark wooden dining table set facing the windows. Kara was standing in the kitchen area, gently running her fingers over the stainless steel appliances and granite countertops, listening attentively. Lydia was running from room to room excitedly. There were four bedrooms to explore including the master with its ensuite bathroom. Lena was only allowing her out of her sight because she could still hear the pitter patter of her footsteps.

“Well, it is a staged home right now. You have to imagine your own photos, your furniture, your things,” Emily said.

“I know, it’s just… This is the kind of place I’d want if I was single. I can’t really picture raising my daughter here. I see this more as a bachelor pad, not as a family home,” Lena said, crossing her arms.

“Well, babe, what exactly is-” Kara is interrupted by a loud crash.

“I’m okay!” Lydia called out.

“Damnit, Lydia!” Lena yelped, running into the last room they had seen her run into. It was a bedroom set up as a kid’s room with a bunk bed, a small desk and a nice little racetrack rug over the white carpet. Lydia was on the bottom bunk, surrounded by debris and half-cocooned in the blanket.

“I wanted to see if it was comfy,” Lydia explained, wriggling and trying to pull herself out of the mess. She pouted, lower lip wobbling as she reached out for her mothers.

“My fault. I forgot to mention that this house is staged, including the beds. It’s not a real mattress, just cardboard covered by the blanket. Sorry. Are you alright, sweetheart?” Emily asked nervously as Kara pulled Lydia out, holding her on her hip and rubbing her back. She subtly checked her out with x-ray vision, kissing her head before passing her off to a worried, wide-eyed Lena.

“Nothing more than a few bumps and bruises, right honey?” Kara said, kissing her temple, giving Lena a look to make sure she knew:  _ Lydia is fine _ . Lydia nodded, burying her head in Lena’s neck. 

“Probably just startled her, huh? Falling is no fun. Why don’t we go sit on the balcony for a minute, hmm? And Mama can talk to Miss Webb about this place,” Lena whispered softly, bouncing her gently as they moved to the balcony, leaving Kara and Emily together.

“Don’t like this house,” Lydia mumbled as Lena sat down on a chair. She shifted so that she was more solidly on her Mommy’s lap, fiddling with her hair.

“Do you not like it because you fell?”

“A little…” Lydia wiggled. “I hurt my bottom when I fell.”

“Aww, my poor little darling. That mean, mean bunkbed. So do you want to change your list with Emily? Tell her you don’t want a bunk bed anymore?” Lena was only teasing because she knew Lydia wasn’t seriously hurt.

“No! I like the bunk bed!” Lydia said quickly.

“What about all of the rooms? Aren’t there too many? You could get lost!” Lena gasped.

“No! I like the lots of rooms. The couches aren’t comfy, though. But the floor is soft and fluffy and the kitchen is pretty. I got a lot of space for my toys, but there’s no yard. No swings or slide.” Lydia pulled back, facing Lena now as she pouted. “Mommy, I wanted a slide.”

“I know, babe. But Emily has to give us options. And remember we said it might not have a slide or swings but we will make sure it’s near a park so we can take you to some swings and stuff,” Lena reminded her.

“Okay,” Lydia whined.

“Now, I think Mama’s done talking with Emily and we have another home to try. Think you’re ready for it?” Lydia nodded, hopping off Lena’s lap and pulling her back into the apartment. They had more homes to view.

 

“I really liked the feel of the house you showed us,” Lena told her. After going to visit another apartment, two townhouses and a house in the suburbs, Emily had brought them all back to her office to discuss what they’d seen.

“It had a slide!” Lydia pointed out sleepily, trying to stifle a yawn. She was curled up in Kara’s lap, trying to remain awake for the ‘grown-up conversation’ even though it was around her naptime. Since her birthday was next week, Lydia had been insisting that she wasn’t a baby anymore; she started trying to refuse her naps last week, but it only left her irritable and tired. Kara had pulled their daughter onto her lap to try and ease her into a quick nap, swaying slightly and rubbing her back.

“It did have a nice yard,” Lena confirmed. She ran a hand through Lydia’s hair, scratching her scalp lightly. Lydia just hummed and snuggled deeper into Kara’s arms. “But I’m worried about the commute. While it’’s really close to Sunny Start, it’s at least fifty minutes from my office and the city- not including traffic! With my job… I think we should live somewhere at least a little bit closer.”

“Yeah, but in the city, we sacrifice a yard,” Kara said softly.

“Not necessarily. That first townhouse had a little yard spot,” Lena said. She knew it wasn’t much, just about the size of a bedroom and half of it is cement. It was more just a spot that led from the back door to the sidewalk of the other street, but she was sure there had to be other townhouses with more space. 

“I could look for places nearer to the city that have some yard space,” Emily interjected. Lydia whined softly, shuffling in Kara’s arms and the three women realized she had fallen asleep. Kara just adjusted her grip and Lena looked around before Emily gestured to the third chair in the corner of the office, looking rarely used. It was an overstuffed white faux-leather arm-chair, just like Kara and Lena’s. Lena dragged it to the opposite corner so that it was out of the way but still faced the women, allowing Lena and Kara to see her if they just shifted their heads slightly.

“So sweet,” Lena whispered once Kara put her in the chair, still curled up and now clutching her stuffed moon from the science museum- Kara had kept it in her purse until Lydia started getting bored and whiny and tired while walking around the houses (Lena had insisted on Lydia holding their hands this time so as to avoid any other incidents). But Lydia whined again in her sleep, curling up tighter and pressing the plushed toy to her nose. Recognizing what might be the beginnings of a nightmare, she grabbed her jacket and draped it over Lydia, remembering what her therapist had said about the familiar smell helping to soothe her. And just like that, Lydia did relax in her spot, shifting a bit until she was comfortable, sighing once before she was still, chest still rising and falling slowly.

“Sorry about that. You know kids, always needing their naps,” Lena said, trying not to duck her head. Emily nodded in understanding and smiled at them. “Great. So, the yard situation,” Lena said when it seemed no one else was going to speak.

 

Twenty minutes later found them discussing the merits and pitfalls of the second apartment they’d seen- it was large and spacious and safe but it needed some repairs and updating and the building didn’t allow any animals, not even a fish- when Kara’s phone buzzed.

Then it buzzed again.

Then a third time.

“Sorry,” Kara whispered sheepishly, ducking her head but pulling her phone out of her purse, brow furrowed as she looked at the screen. And Lena knew.

“It’s work, isn’t it?” she asked, though she already knew the answer. “You have to go.”

“I really am sorry, but it’s-”

“An emergency. I know. Go. We’ll finish up here,” Lena said, standing as Kara did to say goodbye.

“Are you sure? Maybe they could handle it without me this time,” Kara said. And God, Lena wanted to ask her to stay. She wanted to beg Kara to stay, let them handle it without her. But it wasn’t fair. Not right now. Not for something as mundane as a meeting with a realtor. Not when there are lives at stake. Lena knows they’ll be able to discuss it later.

“Just go. We can figure this out later, you and me. I promise, it’s okay. Go,” Lena whispered, pulling Kara into a hug. She kissed her, pulling away before she got sucked in. “Love you.”

“Love you,” Kara said, grabbing her purse and hurrying out the door, stopping to kiss Lydia’s forehead before disappearing and shutting the door behind her.

“I thought she was a preschool teacher,” Emily said when Lena sat back down, confusion evident on her face.

“She is. This is more of a… volunteer thing. She helps out with crisis management and recovery with a relief organization, but… she takes it just as seriously as she does her paying job,” Lena lied smoothly, watching out the window for the streak of red and blue as it headed towards the danger. Once it passed, she looked back at Emily and continued, “sorry, but is it alright if we cut this meeting a bit short? I hope you have enough information to help narrow down our search.”

“Of course! We were almost done anyway. If there’s anything else you two think of, send me an e-mail. I’ll try and set up some more viewing appointments with your secretary.” Emily stood to see Lena out. Lena gathered her things before going to pick up Lydia, scooping her up and letting Lydia hug her like a koala on her front. Lydia nuzzled into her Mom’s neck and sighed.

“Thank you. We’ll see you soon, I hope,” Lena said, softer now, as she shook Emily’s hand quickly so as not to lose her grip on Lydia.

“Of course,” Emily said. “Have a nice day. See you soon!” She smiled and headed out to see her secretary as Lena and Lydia got into the elevator and waited for the doors to close.

 

Kara came home later that night after Lydia had fallen asleep for the night smelling of chemicals and disinfectant, her super suit in a garment bag on her arm.

“Stupid alien prisoner and his stupid slime. He got it all over me,” Kara groaned in answer when Lena asked what happened, falling onto the couch next to her. Lena just chuckled and waited for Kara to explain more, putting her computer to the side and putting her glasses on top of her head, raising one eyebrow. When she didn’t, Lena spoke again. At the same time, Kara finally spoke.

“So, what happ-”

“So, I talked to-” They both stopped talking.

“You go first,” they both said at the same time, chuckling. Lena gestures for Kara to speak first, quirking one eyebrow up.

“There was this alien. He escaped from prison and when I tried to help recapture him, we discovered he has these spikes that spray this disgusting slime. It was thick and heavy and kept me from flying after him or using my super speed because it was so dense. But Alex’s team eventually got the guy and they brought him back to a DEO holding cell while they tried to find a more permanent place that could hold him. But then I had to rinse off at the DEO and it took three chemical rinses and then I took three disinfecting showers with soap and scalding water,” Kara explained. “Don’t laugh, it smelled awful and was so sticky and I hated being stuck to the ground like that,” she whined as Lena chuckled.

“Oh, poor baby. Now you know how the rest of us feel!” Lena teased, tilting her head to let the glasses slip back down onto her knees.

“Rude,” Kara scoffed. They poke each other back and forth for a few moments, giggling like children before finally settling down. “I talked to Alex and J’onn. About making some kind of schedule so I can still have a semi-normal life.”

“And?” Lena waited patiently, focusing her gaze on their intertwined fingers instead.

“And we decided that I will no longer be called in for small emergencies. My cousin said he does that, too. He has to let the first responders do their jobs or else the city will forget how to defend themselves against natural disasters and stuff. So I’m going to be called in only for major disasters and anything involving aliens or metahumans,” Kara said, grinning.

“That’s great. Now you won’t feel pressured to go save every cat stuck in a tree,” Lena teased. Pausing, she added, “but I know it means a lot to you to be able to help people, so you go whenever you think you’re needed. I don’t want to stand in the way of you being a superhero.”

“You could never stand in my way. You and Lydia? You’re part of the reason this is so important to me. I just want to make the world a better place for you guys.” Kara’s voice was soft now, almost a whisper.

“I… I really want to say something cheesy like ‘you made my world better just by being in it’ but I feel you’d laugh.” Lena’s cheeks went red and she played with Kara’s fingers now, still not looking at her.

“You are just a giant cheese ball,” Kara laughed, tugging on Lena until she looked at Kara so that she could kiss her properly. Of course, this quickly turned into more when Lena opened her mouth to let Kara’s tongue in. In response, Kara just scooped Lena up and took her to bed, careful to remember to lock the bedroom door behind them this time.

 

Once Kara was no longer called in for smaller emergencies, their lives relaxed considerably. Kara was more reliable and consistent with her availability to take care of Lydia and if she wasn;t available, one of the babysitters usually was. Lena still worried, and she still felt guilty every time she and Lydia ended up eating dinner without Kara, but she was learning how to manage these feelings.

Finally, the day of Lydia’s fourth birthday came. She had insisted on a superhero party, and Lena had promised a visit from Supergirl herself after they ate cake. With the help of Pinterest, Maggie and Alex, and all of Lydia’s various babysitters, Lena and Kara managed to get the decorations made. Jess took care of ordering the food and Kara ordered the cake and ice cream.

On the day of, they went to the area of the park Lena had rented out for the party to find the security team already in place- Lena had insisted on security since there would be children there and she didn’t want any of them hurt on her account. The inflatable bounce house had a large figure of Superman in the middle where the entrance to the bounce house was. On either side of the entrance were pillars, one with Supergirl and the other with Batman. The bounce house was connected to an inflatable climbing wall five feet high that led to a slide. Outside of the bounce house, there were tables set up with plates, another two reserved for food, and one for presents. Scattered around the area there were balloons and superhero decorations. Once they arrived, Maggie and Alex set about putting up their own hand-made decorations and party favors and games.

“Mommy, Mama, can I bounce please?” Lydia asked, already bouncing on her toes in her Supergirl shirt, her red tutu, and leggings, hair in two braids down her back. Lena, in her own ‘Supergirl #1 Fan’ shirt, laughed.

“Of course, love. Go, have fun.”

“Can I go, too?” Jamie asked. Maggie waved her off and the two little girls ran towards the bounce house, kicking their shoes off as they went. Their giggles and squeals could be heard by all as they prepared the area, laying out food and drinks and double-checking the set-up.

Jess was the first to arrive (naturally) and left Lydia’s present on the table before going to greet everyone else. Then came Lucy and Sam and Michelle, three of Lydia’s babysitters. After that, some of Lydia’s friends from camp and a few from Sunny Start started trickling in and soon enough, the park was overflowing with laughing kids and chatting parents, watching as their kids ran around and jumped in the bounce house. Lena and Kara traded off often- one would walk around the party, making sure everyone was alright while the other mingled and made friends with the other parents.

“Wanna do cake soon so that our favorite superhero can make an appearance?” Alex whispered as she came over to Kara. Kara nodded, going around to gather people for cake. As soon as parents saw her, they herded their own children over to the table.

“I wanna sit next to Lydia!”

“No, me!”

“No, I want to!” Some of the kids argued, each trying to get a coveted seat next to the birthday girl. Kara was about to go intervene and remind them that everyone would get a chance to be near Lydia during the party when Lydia herself spoke up.

“Hey! No fighting. We can take turns,” she declared. “And I can play with everyone after cake.”

“Good job, Lyd,” Maggie praised as Kara carried over a giant sheet cake decorated with a plethora of different superheroes, Supergirl being most prominent. A purple sparkly candle in the shape of the number four was in the middle and four other candles stood around the corner, each flickering a different color. As she set the cake down in front of Lydia, everyone began singing.

_ “Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Lydia, happy birthday to you!”  _ As people sang, Kara and Lena were taking pictures and videos of Lydia bouncing on her knees, giggling and staring at the cake. 

“Make a wish, Lyd,” Lena laughed, watching as Lydia blew out the candles. Lydia squealed in delight when she extinguished all of the candles in one big breath. While Alex sets about cutting the cake (she insisted on helping out and wouldn’t let Kara near the cake lest she eat it all), Kara looks down at her phone.

“Ten minutes- our surprise is on the way,” Kara whispered to Lena, grabbing a piece of cake from Maggie as she walked by.

“Exciting times,” Lena replied, eyes shining as she smirked at Kara. Kissing her girlfriend on the cheek, she moved to go help Maggie pass out cake and ice cream cups. The parents chat while the kids get their face, hands and hair covered in frosting and cake (and even managing to eat some of it!). They were all shocked when Supergirl landed at the edge of the party, walking over with a big smile on her face.

For a moment, no one moved.

Then, Lydia yelled, “it’s Supergirl!” and everyone began to laugh or shout as they all flocked to her like moths to a flame. “Mama, Mommy, look! Look! It’s Supergirl!” Lydia giggled, turning around to find her moms in the crowd.

“I know! So cool.,” Kara grinned. She winked at J’onn disguised as Supergirl and took out her camera, snapping candid pictures as J’onn kneeled down to talk to the kids, keeping his voice cheerful and strong, just as he’d practiced with Kara.

“I heard it was your birthday,” J’onn said. “Your moms told me you were a fan, and I wanted to come say happy birthday. Is that alright?” Lydia nodded excitedly, jumping up and down on the spot, clearly too excited to speak. “Happy Birthday, Miss Lydia. You’re four years old now, right?”

“Mhmm,” she squealed. The other kids were giggling and laughing and reaching out to touch Supergirl- or rather, J’onn as Supergirl. He looked at Lydia as if realizing something for the first time.

“Wow, I love your costume! The skirt is cute,” J’onn said rather convincingly.

“I like your pants,” Lydia said, shy now that her hero had complimented her. She swayed in her spot a moment before lunging forward to hug J’onn. He hugged her back, holding her tight; the other kids take this as a cue to start a group hug. To his credit, J’onn stayed in character and laughed, hugging all of the kids and chatting with them while parents took pictures and whispered about how incredible this is.

“Group picture! Kids, everyone get in close with Supergirl. Great, fantastic. Big smiles. Say cheese!” Kara called out, directing the kids and taking the pictures, each kid sporting their biggest smiles. One of the security people came over at Lena’s behest to take a picture of everyone with Supergirl, grown-ups included. After a few more sessions of photos with Lydia and her family standing with Supergirl- Kara felt odd posing for a picture with another version of herself and Lena laughed at the feeling of Kara to her left and a fake-Kara to her right, Lydia in the fake-Kara’s arms posing with muscles flexing- J’onn nods at Alex, about to take his leave when Lydia made one request.

“Can I go flying with you?” Her voice was so hopeful and she batted her eyes perfectly. J’onn stilled in his indecision.

“Uh,” he stammered. “I mean, maybe when you’re a little bigger?” he whispered, leaning down a little, looking to Kara and Lena for help.

“No! I’m big  _ now! _ I’m four years old,” Lena insisted, holding up four chubby fingers and pouting. But she dropped the ‘r’ sound in four, making her sounds young and innocent and adorable.

“Yes, but-”

“Mommy, Mama, please?” Lena begged, turning around. Lena and J’onn have a mental conversation for a moment (literally- Lena tried to broadcast her thoughts to him and he just nodded in response) before Lena kneels down with Lydia.

“You go once around the park and Supergirl doesn’t go too high or too fast. And you hold on  _ tight _ ,” Lena said seriously. Lydia was just squealing and hugging her mommy, too excited to do anything more than nod. All of the other kids watched enviously as Supergirl bent down and scooped Lydia up, holding her to her chest tightly. Lydia clung to Jonn’s chest like a koala, legs wrapped around his waist and arms around his neck. J’onn launched into the air as Lena took a video and they watched him do a low, slow lap around the park, other kids clapping and giggling even in their jealousy. J’onn was on his way back with Lydia when they all saw another flying figure draped all in black. The figure shot a laser at them and Lena screamed, dropping her phone as J’onn ducked and rolled, arms cradling Lydia and moving faster towards them.

“I have to go. Happy Birthday, Lydia. Be safe,” he whispered to her, passing her to Lena. To the group, he added in a louder volume, “I’ll lure it away. Stay safe.” And he launched into the air, flying away and pushing the black costumed figure away from the park. It chased him and Lena lost track of it as she clutched Lydia to her body. The security team had already closed in on the party guests, ushering them to their cars and away from the park. Kids were crying and people were still screaming and the very air smelt burnt.

“I should see if he needs help,” Kara whispered to Lena.

“Kara!” Lena whispered harshly, looking pointedly at the scene around them and then to the little girl shaking in her mother’s arms, scared from the loud sounds and the sudden speed increase. Lydia clung to Lena’s shirt, eyes closed.

“Oh, my poor baby,” Kara whispered, rubbing Lydia’s back. The noises of the fight grew fainter and Kara tracked their progress as J’onn pushed the offender out towards the desert and away from people who could be hurt. 

“Miss Luthor, it’s time to go,” one of her guards said, ushering them to the waiting car.

“My p-presents!” Lydia wailed as they walked away. With one glance at her trembling lip and tear-stained cheeks, the guard nodded his head sharply. He gestured to two of his other guards, pointing them to the table of gifts. They loaded up the car in the time it took Kara and Lena to get Lydia strapped into her car seat and climb into the car themselves.

“Lyd, Lyd, we’re safe here,” Kara whispered softly once the car doors shut and they were all on their way. This car was a special model owned by L-Corp. It was made of reinforced steel and the windows were made of bulletproof glass; this type of car with its specially tinted windows and thick, tank-like structure were usually reserved for royalty or world leaders or particularly high-powered celebrities. The back seat was spacious and set up like a limo with two rows of seats facing each other. Lena was sat next to Lydia’s car seat, rubbing circles on her back and holding her hand while Kara was sat across from them, making faces at Lydia and trying to soothe her, holding her other hand.

“We’re safe here,” Lena echoed. The security guard who’d climbed into the back with them- Lena thought his name was Declan, a former marine who came with excellent recommendations- leaned close to Lydia.

“Hi, sweetheart. My name is Declan. You’re Lydia, right?” Lydia was in no state to respond with words, settling for a simple nod as she whimpered. “Well, happy birthday, Lydia. You are being very brave right now, did you know that?” Lydia shook her head, wiping her eyes. Lena’s heart swelled and she rifled through her bag to find Chewie. Lydia took her favorite toy and rubbed it on her face, giving a small sigh.

“So brave,” Kara said. She added something in a lilting, musical language that Lena faintly recognized as Kryptonese; she had been trying to learn from Alex to surprise Kara, but she wasn’t making much progress due to their hectic schedules. “My beautiful, brave girl,” Kara continued as if not realizing she had switched languages. To his credit, Declan doesn’t react in any way, just holds his gaze with Lydia, giving her a small smile.

“Your Mama’s right. You are so brave. And she’s right about you being safe. Did you know this car is the safest one there is?” Going on to detail exactly why it was so safe for her, he spoke as if he was telling a story, stretching words and giving just the right emphasis to distract Lydia from the memories of the fight breaking out around her. Lena wondered if he had children.

“B-but Mommy, I’m still scared,” Lydia said after a while, gripping her hand tighter. “Not brave.”

“It’s okay to be scared. You’re still brave,” Kara insisted. A small part of her- the one that was focused on exactly what the headlines would say tomorrow- wanted to get home and put on her costume to go relieve J’onn. But the larger, louder part of her knew that this was the time to be with her family. This is what she should have done after Lena and Lydia were attacked. She should have stayed, should have put aside her own worries and fear about what her superhero coming out would do. She should have stayed and comforted her family. She messed that up last time, but she won’t make the same mistake twice. 

“Your Tia is a police detective. Do you think she’s brave?” Kara asked after a moment. Lydia nodded, sniffling and wiping at her cheeks. Her thumb plays with her bottom lip but both women silently agree to let the nervous habit go for now. “Well, she’s scared all the time. She gets scared of spiders! And when she goes to work, she’s scared that someone is going to hurt her. But you still think she’s brave, right?” Again, Lydia nodded. Lena begins to whisper with Declan, making sure everyone else got away safely. “Good, because being brave doesn’t mean that you’re never scared. It just means that you keep trying even when you get scared. It means that you don’t give up when you get scared.”

“Wanna be b-brave,” Lydia whimpered. She squirmed in her seat, reaching out to her mothers. Failing that, she whined again and Kara leaned in as close as her seatbelt would let her, holding Lydia’s hand and rubbing her leg to comfort her.

“You are,” Lena insisted, pausing her conversation with Declan now that she was convinced the other guests were going to be okay. “You’re my brave, beautiful, strong girl. I promise, you are.” Lydia just hummed, thumb now completely in her mouth. Chewie was tucked in the crook of her elbow and her other hand as tightly clutching Kara’s. With her mommy rubbing her back and her Mama humming soft song and rubbing her tummy, Lydia felt her eyes start to close. She fell asleep before they got home.

 

“Everyone’s okay, thank  _ God _ ,” Lena sighed, falling back into the couch. There were still members of her security team monitoring their building (one in the lobby, one in their hallway and three stationed on the block) and several others went downtown to help clean the wreckage of the attack, including the birthday party debris. Lena had just finished calling all of their guests to ensure they got home safe and watched the news to see that J’onn had managed to subdue the attacker, an old enemy of Clark’s who had been hoping to hurt him by hurting his family, by taking him out to the desert before the DEO was able to help remove the power source element from his chest and encase it in lead. There had been a few injuries, some burns, scrapes, gunshots and a few head wounds, but no one had died. Kara had listened to her comms while holding Lydia, comforting the little girl and distracting her with thoughts of her presents and promises of cake and sweets tomorrow. She was currently playing with a new Supergirl action figure, flying the doll around the room and staging rescue situations.

“That was… hard,” Kara sighed, bringing Lena a much-needed glass of wine before sitting on the edge of the arm chair, head in her hands. They had both changed into pajamas once they got home, settling in for the rest of the evening.

“Which part?” Lena asked curiously. Kara scoffed a little, picking her head up and curling into a ball on the chair, resting her chin on her knees.

“All of it, damn.” Her eyes widened and she glanced over at Lydia, still playing with her toys and mumbling to herself. “Sorry, sorry. But it really was.” 

“So, tell me about it.” Lena watched carefully at the way Kara was rubbing her chin against the soft fabric of her pajamas, fingers scratching at her forearms repetitively. She could detect the anxious tics, could see Kara fighting with herself for control, so she refused to be hurt by Kara’s purposeful space between them. Lena just leaned forward, elbows on her thighs, and listened to Kara.

“I want to be here. All the time. I want to be here, with you. And I want to experience things. I missed so much of Lydia’s life so far and I don’t want to miss more, y’know? So I want to be here. I  _ need _ to be here. But I also… I need to be there, too? I spent so long watching my cousin save everyone on the news and knowing I could help him save more, but he wouldn’t let me. He said the world didn’t need another Superman, just Kara Danvers. But it was  _ so _ hard not to help. And now- I mean, now I can! I can  _ help people _ and that’s amazing but I also have to sacrifice to do that. I have to sacrifice being here with you and Lydia. And that’s hard. Trying to balance everything I want and everything I need and where I need to be and what I need to do.” Kara paused, turning her head to watch Lydia play. Lena was content in the silence, listening only to Lydia’s mumblings and Kara’s breathing, forced and slow.

“So it was hard. It was hard to be here because I wanted to be there, too. I wanted to help J’onn and Alex and Vasquez and Winn, even though I knew the DEO could handle it. I knew they could, but I thought if I was there… maybe I could keep people from getting injured. Because people got  _ hurt _ and maybe I could have stopped it. And then it was hard because I felt so  _ guilty _ for wanting to be there because I  _ needed _ to be here. I had already abandoned you and Lydia once when you needed me, and I couldn’t do it again. I can’t do it again. So… it was hard. It was hard to be here and know I could help there, and it was hard to want to be there knowing I was needed here. It just feels like… like… I’m being pulled in a million different directions and trying to juggle all of these different things and I just… It’s a little hard to do it all sometimes?” Kara said softly. Lena paused a moment, absorbing all of the information and trying to figure out if Kara was done.

“What can I do to help?” Lena asked after a minute, watching Kara wipe her tears on her pajama pants.

“I just… I have to relax. I’ll be fine. Just… I’ll be fine,” Kara said, rolling her shoulders.

“Not even ice cream? A warm bath? A good hug? A massage?” She paused, lowering her voice and leaning in to add, “a really good orgasm?” And that breaks her. Kara chuckled, then she began to laugh. Then she began to cry and her muscles unclenched and she lunged across the living room into Lena’s arms, burrowing herself in her girlfriend’s embrace. Len hugs her back as tight as she can, dragging her nails down Kara’s back, knowing that the sharper stimulations would help ground her. After a minute of Lena humming and trying to comfort her, Lydia toddled over.

“Mommy, why’s Mama crying?” she whispered in a small voice. Her hair was done in two braids and she was wearing her kitten pajama set, her Supergirl doll in one hand and Chewie in the other.

“She was just a little scared today at the party, that’s all. Why don’t you go keep playing, babe?” Lena said softly.

“Why?” 

“Grown-up stuff, love. Go play.” Kara was still crying but Lena could recognize her trying to collect herself enough to speak to Lydia, heard her trying to control her breathing. But Lena didn’t want Kara to keep burying this, she wanted her to process her emotions.

“I can help!” she insisted.

“Lydia,” Lena said sternly.

“I wanna help!” Lydia insisted, stomping her foot. She jumped up onto the couch and onto Kara’s back, hugging her with her entire body. Lena felt Kara laughing.

“L-Lyd,” she laughed between sobs. “Thank you b-baby.”

“I’m a big girl. It’s okay to be scared, Mama, ‘member? You told me that. And you helped me when I was scared, so now it’s my turn! Look, you can have my Chewie and my Supergirl. They’ll keep you safe.” Kara turned, pliant under Lydia’s insistent hands and tugging, pulling Kara until she faced Lydia. She pushed the toys into Kara’s chest and jumping into her lap to hug her. Lena continued scratching her back and squeezing Kara’s hand tight even as she hugged Lydia closer to her. 

“ _ Twinkle twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are. Up above the world so high, like a diamond in the sky. Twinkle twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are,” _ Lydia sang sweetly. Kara hummed along, tears still streaking down her cheeks. 

Her voice cracked when she said, “thank you, Lydia. That was beautiful.”

“You and Mommy always sing when I’m upset. And I like twinkle twinkle. It makes me feel better,” Lydia giggled. They stayed like that for a while, cuddled together on the couch while Kara cried and Lydia sang and Lena stayed, holding her family. Lena hoped that tomorrow would see Supergirl landing on their balcony to talk to Lydia, apologize for scaring her and checking up on her. Whether it was J’onn or Kara didn’t matter. All that did matter right now was holding her family and trying to help Kara keep her balance on the tightrope she was walking.


End file.
